A parenting tip that can change my life?? What?? Sign me up! I’ve said this before and I will share again, I want to enjoy motherhood not and just survive it. This tip truly has the power to truly transfer your life and your family’s life. Let me know what you think and if you end up trying it!
“A child who’s behavior pushes you away, is a child who needs connection before anything else.”
Children are born and programmed with a need to connect/bond with their parents. The closer the bond and the stronger the relationship between you and your child, the more your child will want to please you and comply with your requests. This means a better-behaved child for you!
So, how do we achieve this?
We do Special Time! Special time is a scheduled block of uninterrupted playtime between ONE parent and ONE child. Should be at least 15 minutes daily. My recommendation for the current situation we’re all in, is to do it in the morning, especially if you are working from home and need to get work. done. This special time will essential fill your child’s love bucket and they will happily play and entertain themselves while you reply to emails. Then again when you’re going to break from lunch or before bedtime. You won’t believe how quickly a child will get through their bedtime routine (jammies, brush teeth, ect.) because they will be so eager to get that one-on-one time for you.
Even if you can only squeeze in 10 minutes, the benefits are worth it and let’s face it we can’t expect change if we keep doing the same thing. It helps me to remember that there are about 1,500 minutes in a day. I can most definitely find 10 minutes to dedicate to my child.
What are the guidelines?
This checklist here will breakdown the steps/guidelines for Special Time.
This is a VERY short explanation and it’s not an instant fix and to reap the benefits, you will need to invest time, daily. If your child has lots of big feeling and upsets bottled up it may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because they now feel heard and safe to unload all those feelings.
Special Time is a powerful tool and recommended by many childhood experts. Cooperation is jut one of the many many benefits. The benefits are not only for the child but for the parent as well.
I will leave few articles that go more into detail and address any questions you may have. I am a huge fan of Dr. Laura and Patty Wipler (Hand in Hand Parenting). They are such great resources.
This is such important work, I hope you take a look.